A new way to walk through the world
Creating the world we all want to live in starts with living the life you imagine for yourself. I’m not going to lie, this work is messy and uncomfortable, heartbreaking and enraging. It is also beautiful and joyful, full of love and grace that has the power to transform hearts and minds. Together we’ll create what we need to stay present and humble in the process of transformation. Embracing this work as a way of life rather than a linear process will help you reconnect with your full humanity, build relationships grounded in love and compassion; and make decisions from your integrity rather than fear and scarcity.
After years of practice, I have distilled a process that consistently works for me. It comes down to four steps: Notice, Pause, Reflect, & Choose (NPCR). What I mean is:
Notice - Explore the ways your body, heart, and mind let you know that something is not right internally, in relationship, or in the environment.
Pause - Slow down and pay attention to the signals you notice by listening to your body’s feedback rather than overriding or pushing through.
Reflect - Discern where things are misaligned between your values and actions as an individual in community, and in relationship to broader social systems and structures.
Choose - Develop reflective and tangible practices that realign your values and actions so you can close the gap between intent and impact while building resilience.
Although this might ideally happen in a non-linear progression, my experience tells me that it’s all a lot messier than that. Sometimes, in a tough conversation, I can go through the NPCR process in real-time without anyone noticing. Sometimes, I have to ask for a moment so I can pause and reflect before I speak. Sometimes, I don’t notice and pause until I’m reflecting on a conversation long after it happened. Ans sometimes, okay a lot of times, I notice something being off and jump right to reacting rather than pausing, reflecting, and choosing to respond thoughtfully. This is when it’s most challenging and the most important time to practice.
If this sounds familiar at all, next time you notice something feeling a bit off or a big reaction but you push through because you don’t feel like you have time to slow down, return to it when you can. Take a few minutes to pause and reflect, even if it’s three weeks later. This gives you an opportunity to practice self-forgiveness, assess what was out of alignment, and then follow up. That might mean making an apology, continuing a conversation that needs to go deeper, or simply making a plan to take that pause next time.
Incorporating NPCR into your life is seemingly simple process that can transform your relationship with yourself and others. I know it has made all the difference in my life. I invite you to experiment with NPCR and let me know how it goes!